Friday, December 23, 2011

Today is December 23, 2011

That means I am 46 years old today. It's all a downhill slide from here, right? I don't mean this as a negative, but rather downhill as coast and enjoy the ride.

As I sit here and think about my 46 years on this earth I think to myself about how I haven't accomplished anything great in my life...I am not the president, pope or an Indian chief. But then I have to think about everything in my life that has happened and how just being on this earth and being a happy person is quite an accomplishment and how blessed I am in my life. I have suffered much pain and sorrow in my life but it has also lead me to recognize true blessings that God has provided for me.

I was placed in foster care when I was a year and half old where I stayed for 4 years until I was adopted. Now some folks might see that as tragic. I see that as being blessed to have not only 1 but 3 families that love me! My foster home was a wonderful one and I have nothing but happy memories. One reason I never have had hard feelings about being in foster care and being adopted is that once I was adopted my mom told me "your mother didn't give you up because she didn't love you. She gave you up because she knew she couldn't care for you and she loved you enough to let go and let someone that could take care of you have you". When you think about it this way, well...isn't that the greatest sacrifice of love a parent can make? While it is hard to lose people in our lives I have learned that without feeling pain and sorrow we can never truly recognize sheer happiness and joy that others can bring into our lives.

When I was young I thought being successful as a woman meant you got married young, had kids and raised your family. Well I blew that completely out of the water! For years I thought I was never successful since I hadn't been married. Most women in my family were married before they were 25, okay usually before the age of 20, so by the time I was 30 I just knew I was a failure. By my mid 30's I knew that I was beyond the age that would produce a successful marriage. Once I was able to get passed the idea that a relationship determined the success of my life I was able to focus on basing my success on my accomplishments. By the time I was 30 I had obtained my Associates of Science, Bachelor's of Arts and Master's of Science degrees. I had a child who was the age of 5 and raised her completely on my own. It took me until I was in my 40's to recognize this and stop depending on the idea of some man on which to base my life success. So to all the men in my life that I have loved, here's to you *okie raises her coffee cup in tribute*, without you I would never know what the feeling of being in love is like. Some people only get to know once in there life what it is like to love, I have been blessed with knowing this feeling many times. And, lucky enough to experience the true "I would die for you" love 3 times in my life. The awesome thing is...I don't know if I will ever get married, but I still believe in love and believe it can happen again.

At the age of 46 I am blessed with not having one best friend but a number of BEST FRIENDS! Can I choose one and say that is my favorite? Of course not! Each one of these people hold a special place in my heart and have come from different experiences in my life. I have those that I have known from my college days, those that came within the last few years and those that fall in between. I can't imagine my life without my wonderful best friends. But not only do I have best friends I also have sooooo many friends! I am amazed sometimes when I think about the number of friends God has decided to bestow upon me!

I can't think about my blessings in my life without of course mentioning my daughter...who is also a curse at times, but aren't all kids? *okie figures if anyone thinks "no" then they are just lying to themselves*. It was having her and knowing I had to care for her that drove me to going as far with my education as I did. It was having her that motivated me to be a better person and let go of a lot of bitterness I had, but that is a whole notha' story! It is having her now that teaches me that no matter what I do, say or think I can NOT control another human being thinks, believes or chooses to do *but oh how okie wishes she could*. I wanted to raise her to be strong and independent so I never would have to worry if she could take care of herself, but I forgot to teach her "mom is always right". But I hold out hope that one day she will pick up on that on her own!

So while I might not have experienced what some people might consider HUGE success in my life I feel like I have the best success of all...LOVE AND HAPPINESS! So with that...I don't wish myself a Happy Birthday but instead...HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!



30 comments:

  1. Happiest of birthday blessings to you, Okie! You have made me smile and inspired me so many times.

    I love that you have a very Joseph (last chapter of Genesis) story. After all that had happened to Joseph and what had been done to him by others he in the end realized that God used it all to put him exactly where he needed to be to accomplish what God intended all along. Love that!

    I'm so glad that in your 46 years you have become a blogger so I can learn from you!

    Celebrating your special day with you, J

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  2. Great post, Okie! Happy Birthday and best wishes for another 46 --at least!

    Nadia

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  3. Happy Birthday! And speaking from experience the best is yet to come. Seeing your daughter graduate from high school etc. (yes she will graduate and you won't kill her before then)and other times you two share will make everyday just a little sweeter. Enjoy "your" day and have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

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  4. I agree with Nadia, it is a great post! I hope you have a wonderful birthday and a peaceful year. You have been an inspiration to many and we appreciate you (probably more than you will ever know).

    Lynn B.

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  5. Happy Birthday from another Okie! I was about 45 when I realized that I probably wasn't going to be anything more then what I was. Being brought up in Oklahoma during my life wasn't easy. We were expected to get married and have babies quickly. In my Newcastle, OK class of '70 I believe there were 23 of us and almost all the girls were married and a few were preggers. They were the special girls the ones that were going to succeed. I obviously was a loser...I didn't get married until almost 23. I was happy being a wife, mother, and an RN but there just seemed to be something missing and I WAS so old now! I sat down like you did and counted my blessings and figured out how to change what I could and accept what I couldn't.
    I am happy being almost 60 years old now. I am having a big party to celebrate this summer... Your invited! I don't mind getting older and yes I would change a few things but not a lot. I don't want the shit that comes with being a president or rock scientist. I love my crafts and family and I am happy there!
    Merry Christmas Okie ladybug!
    Vickie aka okienurse

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  6. What an inspiration you are! You make people laugh, see the simple things (usually the most important things) in life and have a wonderful, wonderful happy out look on life. Thank you for being such an inspiration. Merry Christmas.

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  7. you are a success no matter what you think...you have been a daily inspiration to many of us and we wish you the happiest of birthdays and the merriest of christmases. cgreer

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  8. Happy, happy birthday, Okie. You are a wonderful woman who has created a wonderful life for you and your daughter. And the world is a better place because you are here!

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  9. Happy Birthday, Okie :) I loved your post today and always get a giggle when I read your blog! I turned 44 on the 20th and I have two daughters ... One is 23 and the other is 12 ... I can truly relate to your comment about them being a blessing! *hugs* Kimberly

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  10. Happy Birthday! You have been blessed with a wonderful outlook on life, and the ability to share that with others. You make me smile so many mornings, and you make me think. Two very important things - to my way of thinking. Thanks for being there for us. (and I enjoy your paper crafting as an added bonus!)

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  11. Okie, Happy Birthday! Excellent post I enjoyed reading it.
    What a wonderful role model you are for your daughter. You are a success and have done it on your own so cheers to you. You inspire so many people. Have a great day.

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  12. What a great way to celebrate the life you have been given! I think you have been very successful in finding happiness--probably the one thing that so many people search their whole lives for. You are a very inspiring person and I envy your positive attitude! I love your blog!!!

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  13. Happiest of Birthdays Okie, thank you for all your inspiration throughout the year, Also as a mother of 6 adopted children plus 5 of our own you again have given me another dose of humility and inspiration with the best of your thoughts and creativity. Thank you for everything.
    You truly are a blessing.

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  14. Happy Happy Birthday to you!!!

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  15. Happy Birthday Okie!

    Thank you for sharing, I totally get where you are coming from. I have a similiar story, few differences, but there are many ...the trick is learning and rising above it or wallowing in it. You have certainly risen above it and look at you today! All I can say is "YOU GO GIRL!" LOL!


    I wish you a wonderful birthday and Merry Christmas!

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  16. Happy Birthday!!! I'm so happy to have discovered your blog!!! It's not because of the projects (which I love) but because you're such a sweet person and I adore your rambling, lol!!! Have a great day, you deserve it!!!
    Hugs, Brigitte

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  17. I am so glad today is your birthday. You make me laugh and cry- I just really treasure your blogs. I hope and pray that this will be the year that you are most successful at work, get the kinks out of the relationship with your daughter and maybe even find true love again. Happy Birthday!
    Lara

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  18. Your birthday post was very inspiring. Have an amazing day and a very merry Christmas.

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  19. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!

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  20. Hope you realize that what youve accomplished is not all for you, but you've been a crafting (and otherwise) inspiration to many of us & brought a lot of joy & laughs too. Glad it was a happy birthday & hope you have a Merry Christmas too!

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  21. Wishing you a Happy Birthday and a Merry Christmas Okie!! Seems like you've done a lot in your 46 years! Here's to another 46!!!

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  22. I already wished you a Happy Birthday yesterday on the Cricut board but thought I would do so her also! Happy Birthday Okie! I have only been on the Cricut board for a short time, but I have thoroughly enjoyed your posts and feel like I already know you just a little! I loved this blog post. Perhaps because I will be 46 in just a few weeks.

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  23. Happy Belated b-day and Merry Christmas. My b-day is next week (47)! Be thankful your DD is self-sufficient. I have a 7 year old. You have been a huge inspiration to me and I am grateful I found your blog.

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  24. Okie, you are wonderful and SUPER SUCCESSFUL! I'm very proud to call you FRIeND!!!

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  25. Happy Belated Birthday Okie to you and my DS who was 15 on the 23rd! You know, I think he's a lot like you - maybe its something about that date!!! LOL You are both very special! Thanks for sharing all that you do.

    MeFlick

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  26. Happy Belated Birthday !
    Anna

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