Another stress factor in my life right now is my ex. Okay I guess I should specify which ex since they are all technically ex's since they aren't currents *okie holds forehead thinking she just confused herself*. So this ex just happens to be the father of my child, not quite what she calls him most days, but we will go with that term for now.
Anywho, he was living with us for about a year and I put him out last August due to some issues. Oh hell, he was getting drunk all the time, staying out late and just being a poopie head! There I said it! Well one weekend where I heard nothing from him and he didn't come home I decided enough was enough and that I was done. When he did come in we had a few words and I told him "it's time for you to go". Long story short, he left. We remained in contact, me being the optimistic person and thinking that maybe my daughter could build a relationship with her father, over the past year even though he was going down hill fast. After being arrested several times he finally got the final blow over 4th of July weekend and got picked up for a DUI, his second in 2 years. Matter of fact COPS was in town that weekend filming so he might actually end up a tv star of sorts...the bad sorts! *okie can't help but laugh at the twisted humor in that statement* Well on top of that he had several other arrests for some issues and he is now sitting in county with a $500,000 bond on him. Now why this would be stressful to me is really hard to understand. I don't want him in my life anymore than a friend. But that's just it, we have been able to remain friends and since he is a friend I worry. But at least I know as long as he is in there he isn't killing himself or someone else with his actions. I do worry about my daughter and how this will effect her. Of course she tells me she doesn't care, but I know it has to bother her in some capacity. I have no idea how long he will be gone, but I know it will be a number of years.
I just wonder what goes through someone's mind who keeps making the same mistakes over and over and over again and some how thinks the results will be different. In the world of counseling, we call that crazy. He is an addict and I hope now he can get the help he needs. But I feel if he got out today he would be right back out doing the same kinda stuff all over again. I have no bad thoughts or feelings for him. Actually I always have wished happiness for any of my ex's. Well at least after a while of being away from there. I think there might have been one that I felt my wishes were less than gracious, but that's a whole notha story!!
I don't blame myself for any of his actions because I know all that he did was by his own choice and he has to face the consequences. I just wish my daughter could have had a father that would have been loving and supportive. In this I feel I have let her down....yep that is probably where the stress comes in over the whole situation.
On a brighter note, tonight is Stamp Club and Linda will be coming to town. We are going to go find somewhere cheap to eat and then head off to spend some time with our stamping friends. Maybe I can get a card done or something but I am making no promises!!!