quitting smoking can cause insanity. If you don't believe me just ask anyone that I have had contact with this last week and a half. I am able to hold myself together for work but after that.....well......not so much *okie sighs as a tear runs down her cheek*. I still have my ringer turned off on my phone since I never know what kinda things will spew from my mouth when I answer the phone. It is better this way...trust me.
My cousin Lisa somehow thinks I need to be posting to my blog about what I am thinking and such. I think she just wants to read about my misery, as if hearing me talk about it on the phone isn't enough.....NNOO NOT FOR HER!! SHE WANTS EVERYONE TO HEAR MY MISERY! *okie hopes her dear cousin Lisa chokes on the cigarette she is smoking*. Evidently she shared my quitting smoking with her brother Greg, who says I need to get the patch. I think from what she told him he is afraid I might be homicidal *okie wonders how cousin Greg knows okie so well when they rarely get to see each other*.
My friend Scrappinbee, aka Carmen 1, aka Thang 1 and newest aka Agnes is able to tolerate me. She laughs at me a lot and ignores a lot of what I am saying *okie now wonders if not smoking is making her more lucid and that Carmen has always ignored her or if it is just recently*. I must give Bee her props as she is willing to talk to me every day, which is more than I can say for most people in my life at this point. She puts up with my little exorcist episodes where terrible things find their way out of my vocal cords. I think even the tone might be a little, er....uhh...possessed sounding *okie shrugs* maybe Bee keeps a cross and holy water handy.
My friend ScrapperDelighted, aka Carmen 2, Thang 2, tries to distract me with virtual shopping. She isn't quite as brave as Bee. She waits for me to call her. She is supportive and does answer her phone, she doesn't try to rush off the phone either! *okie thinks Delighted is rather brave this way* She does try to give me encouragement about my decision.
My daughter is surviving through all this. She tries to stay away from me most of the time. I know I have hurt her feelings a few times. She will leave the house and text me "what is wrong with you". WHAT THE %$@K*&% &#** DOES SHE THINK IS WRONG WITH ME! Actually she knows.....she is truly being patient with me I think. I know she is proud of my decision as she has wanted me to quit smoking for years and years. When she is home she stays in her room most of the time or sleeps. I have to admit she is a pretty smart kid.
*okie sighs deeply* I want to make something. I look over at all my stuff and keep thinking I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING! But it doesn't happen. I get over to my table, look at my stuff and then just walk away. Maybe I will try tonight....maybe just maybe I can make something...*okie walks over to her craft table wondering how well glitter cardstock will roll and smoke*